Patreon Exclusive Review: The Beautiful Ones

When I heard that Prince The Beautiful Ones, it was not a book that I was excited about. I knew the book would contain a lot of filler material to flesh out a book that had less than thirty handwritten pages. If there was a book that could be accused of being a post mortem money grab it might be this one for lack of material. It was published, according to Dan, to help liquidate the tax bill that the estate was facing. Since there was no will left behind by Prince, the need to take advantage of what he had written is understandable.

I went to a book store and saw the only copy they had. There were things I found attractive; the heft of the paper, the cover, aside from the ugly wallpaper, and the photos and the handwritten lyrics that I wanted to study more closely. I still didn’t buy it but I heard the local library had a copy so I decided I would borrow it.

Sadly, there are some that are of the opinion that Dan Piepenbring was not the right guy for the job. I guess he even wondered if he was. I always find it interesting that people who say they respect Prince for being a genius don’t think highly of the people he chose work with or those he chose to marry. Probably just jealousy. Prince did what he always seemed to do, find the most qualified, inexperienced nobody to do the job. He paid his “being given a chance” forward many times over and you don’t hear anything but gratitude from those who benefitted.

I find it interesting and notable that Prince, at the time the book is being discussed, is still grappling with how the combination of his parents shaped him. It helps to have read a lot of other material. Surely this book is not the first you would want to read about Prince. This book needs context. I find that The Beautiful Ones helps fill in gaps, possibly clarifies or gives a different understanding of his early years. The one we hear about the most and is always noticeably absent is his mother. I think what Prince included in this book clarifies and confirms that Prince’s early wounds came not so much from his relationship with each of his parents but from their dysfunctional relationship as a couple.

Both John and Mattie already have a short record of failed longterm relationships. John’s marriage had lasted eighteen years. I suspect that being married that long that the nurturing aspect was missing, having become less of a priority. Johns’s music side career was his passion and priority and was taking him outside of the home and taking his time away from his wife. The fact that after he had been divorced by his wife did not seem to have any impact on him. He reacted to the situation by jumping state lines into Northwood, IA to marry Mattie because MN law required a six month waiting period after the divorce from Vivian was finalized, a sign of immaturity on his part.

Mattie was quite a bit younger than John and what would make her attractive in the physical sense would make her unattractive in another way. In the fourth chapter, there is a handwritten note by Mattie to John of the type she would put in his lunch that is very telling. She is young and out of touch with herself and reality in general. She is not a woman that is ready or able to make her dreams come true or who has any that is worth running after. This is a sign of those times. There was not much available for women then besides finding their identity and support in their role as a wife and mother. She speaks of an idyllic relationship of the type you convey to people in Christmas letters or pictures; where happiness is based on dream homes, loungewear and a new hi-fi that she says John needs to purchase where they spin records to put them in the mood because she is so out of touch with her own feelings she needs someone else to conger up the words to say how she feels. (I have often seen greeting cards in this light) This note that seems to gush of love just masks how empty and undeveloped of a person she is and I don’t mean to disparage her. It is just where she is at. John was drawn to her physical appearance and how her singing voice made them seem like a good match. But John’s lifestyle was not going to mesh well with the wife/mother identity and she would blame John’s side career, the one that made him light up but was not their main source of income as the problem. There is little doubt that she would argue this viewpoint over and over again to the point where he was being shamed and feeling it. The reason I come to that conclusion is the very short chapter, New Beginnings.

Prince is thirteen. He is tired of his step-father, Haywood, and has little respect for him. I found Prince’s telling of the R-rated movies interesting because it is a different narrative from the one Prince told Chris Rock. But I guess that does not make what he said about his mother’s part in educating him with Playboy magazines untrue nor does this book’s info cancel out what we have heard. If anything, it says that she did not have a problem with Prince seeing R-rated movies. There is a confusing mix of things that Prince is being exposed to by his parents which is really a reflection of the culture in the U.S. during that time. It WAS confusing to children because the culture is a smorgasbord where it is difficult for children to sort out particularly when the gods are eating everything. But Prince sees his dad as a better compass.

Prince is thirteen. On page 101, Prince describes the event in his life when he is going to live with his father. He is dropped off at his father’s apartment, without a word spoken, to wait outside, not knowing then that he would be waiting for two hours because dropping him off at a later time supposedly might have inconvenienced his mother’s plans. This seems to be a passive-aggressive punishment of Prince’s choice to leave her home and move in with his dad. But it would seem he did not understand the “punchline.” He felt lifeless at first but then a sense of joy. He had a sense of hope to prove . . . . . that the name Prince was worthy of her love, admiration, and respect?????? What???

I am willing to bet that in the course of the fighting and arguing that John’s music career, his trio, and everything about that part of his life was attacked and John was left with a lot of negative emotions. If John had any residual, unresolved shame from his past, the passion for music and his delight in playing was his balm that was being judged by Mattie as THE PROBLEM when it was quite possibly her unfulfilled life that was more to blame for her unhappiness. Neither was willing to compromise because they could not see that there was a way to do it How many of us in our past saw people modeling conflict resolution and how to give up something for the good of all involved.

Prince was given his name by his father as a symbol (how ironic) of passing on his hopes and dreams that he was not able to fulfill in his own lifetime. Mattie was giving a clear message that John’s dreams and his talent were not worth his time and effort. She dismissed his desires. Ridiculed them. How did that make Prince feel about himself, his talents, his dreams, goals and the gift of his father’s legacy represented by his name which seemed to have been turned the color scar-lett by Mattie? He would later change that to the color of royalty.

I am always afraid of reading into stuff as if I am trying to jam something or someone into a shoe that I think should fit. But I cannot help but wonder if much of the manic pace of Prince’s creativity was driven by the shame and the need to prove to his “first love” that he would succeed at what she dismissed as not worthy of pursuing. This was over top of the shame he felt as an infant and very self-centered, young child as the result of the discord that resulted in stress and unhappiness. It is this kind of environment that causes one to get stuck in emotional development which is why we see the narcissism in Prince’s character and behavior.

Did Prince ever feel from his mother that she was proud of him or that she supported him in his endeavors? My guess is “no.” On her death bed she requests that Prince become a Jehovah’s Witness and he does. That, like his “work ethic” was a temporary fix for a much deeper problem that will only make things worse. (The abuse he subjected his body to and the ultimate death by an overdose of painkillers he self-administered) That is what addictions do. Mid-Westerners are very good at mistaking workaholism as a work ethic.

None of what I think or have put into words diminishes his talent. It is because of that talent that kept him going as a star for basically 40 years.

There are other things that I could go into as a result of reading this book and having my thoughts triggered. The word hero and Prince’s attraction to superheroes such as Superman or Batman. He called his father his hero which I really understand why Prince felt that way about his dad. Prince understood the power of mystery in the life of a superhero and modeled his life after this understanding. “I Would Die 4U” is very much about being a hero or even a superhero. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s something we cannot understand. Prince has a list of people he considers heroes. Prince becomes a hero to others by being a hero for himself. Prince sings David Bowie’s “Heros” as a tribute to David Bowie in his final tour. Hero in relationship to Prince is a strong theme.

That is some of what I gathered out of 28 handwritten and thankfully transcribed into type-face pages of Prince’s life in his words. I think I understand the movie Purple Rain more deeply and how the parents’ roles were switched to protect the guilty. But that is a few more paragraphs and I am done for now. Thanks for the space to express what I woke up thinking about what is now yesterday morning. Cheers!